• OK, I've heard a lot of funny stuff in the classroom over the years...

  ...so , if you find something on here that came from you, don't worry, I won't name names, and it's nothing personal.

• • George Washington died at the age of 79. He is still dead.

  • STUDENT 1: "What does 'JK' mean?"

    STUDENT 2: "Duh, it means Jo King!!!"

  • MRS. HAMMER: "This is no longer a democracy! From now on, I am the lawyer, the judge, and the jury!"

  STUDENT: " I EJECT!"

• (05.02.08) Use "deceit" in a sentence: "Mrs. Hammer, I need a new c hair because deceit is broken." (#17)
• (03.18.08) Mrs. Hammer: "Sometimes his body has problems eliminating solid waste, ummm... gaseous waste, and liquid waste." Student #3: "You mean he has problems with his water cycle?" Student #17: "In that case, Mrs. Hammer, my body's having a water cycle issue. It needs to rain."
• (03.17.08) Use "disguise" in a sentence: "I think disguise weird." (#23)
• (01.22.08) Did your horse fall down because it ran out of horsepower?

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM MY EO GROUP(01/14/08):

Early to bed and early to rise

• then go back to bed again
• means less traffic on the freeway
• gives you more time on the internet

People who live in glass houses...

• need a lot of Windex
• should hang curtains in their bathrooms
• shouldn't play soccer inside the house
• shouldn't sing really high notes

A friend in need...

• will never pay you back
• means he's broke
• will always ask for something

Use "admiral" in a sentence:

• She has many admiral qualities.

Use "industry" in a sentence:

• My kite keeps getting stuck "industry".

• Mrs. Hammer: You are all driving me bonkers.
  • Student #26: It's a short drive.
• "My mom is a house mom.  My dad is a car dad." (#21)
• "The early farmers brought water to their fields through irritation."
• "When someone passes the bar exam, does that mean they can be a bar tender?"
  
• "How can a forest run?"  (as in "Run, Forrest, Run!!!)
• "Yazi, how long does it take for you to put all those curlers in your hair every night?"
  
• "Mrs. Hammer, my dog ate my Minder Binder."
  
• "The cat cannot find its puppies." (OK, so it was I who said it, but I wasn't paying attention to what I was saying because we've been cooped up indoors for a few days and I'm getting a little cabin fever, and yah, that's my excuse.)
• "Azure: Please don't talk azure walking in the breezeway."
• "During the Stone Age, humans discovered stones, and then they discovered that the stones could be used for tools, like stoning animals for food."
• "Math wouldn't be so hard if it wasn't for the numbers. I'm not good with numbers."
• "I don't like History because it's all about the past. Why can't it be all about future?"
• "Can four people be twins?" (#19)
• "Her circle stands six were pretty serious." (#6)
• "If it's possible, how is that a maybe?"
• "Cursive is called cursive because whenever you have to practice it, it makes you want to curse."